How Do I Want to Die
Someone asked me this, here is my answer:
Ralph's Ideal Death
It will be November 24, 2035. Humanity has splintered into warring factions, as it struggles to survive the freezing cold, extreme heat, and limited food brought upon by global warming. I write an epic tale, in graphic novel format, so gripping, so moving, so groin kickingly awesome that it has the power to bring everlasting unity, end prejudice, and save the planet. Kinda like Bill and Ted. Of course, corporations send their army of mind controlled Ninjas, Zombies, and Tweenies to stop me. After surviving as long as possible, I'm done in by a tween wearing a tee for some bad contemporary vampire movie (in 3D,) but in my last breath publish the book, drink a coke, and kiss a super model. Yeah.
Actually, I had other plans. Ideally, me and all of my closest friends would be rounded up and placed on an island inhabited by dinosaurs and zombies. We would all fight for survival using whatever weapons we find and after all of the dinos and zombies are once again extinct, whomever is still alive would fight each other to the death for control of the now desolate island.
ReplyDeleteIf I fail to die however, I would have to build an evil laboratory and bring my dead friends and dinos back to life and kidnap another circle of friends.
hmm, I'm making this into a movie now.